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Status
rm_barwood5 63/M
Salt Lake City, Utah
Introduction
The difference between a Fairy Tale and real life is simply this: A Fairy Tale starts with “Once upon a time” Real life starts with “This is a no shitter.”
This is a no shitter. A few years back I was sitting on my favorite lily pad soakin’ up the sun. I was a happy frog. Life was good. I had all the flies I could eat and all the cute little froggets I could handle. Then out of the blue WHAM! This silly human female snatches me off my pad.
Now I was a big ol’ bad ass bull frog, but there was no escaping this crazy lady. I kicked my legs and fought, but she was just too strong. She held me in a death grip with both hands. Then she lifted me up to her face…I was a scared…I was looking right into those wild blue eyes. Then she said “I wish you were a Prince” and plants a big wet one right on my kisser.
All of the sudden I feel a change coming over me. I started feeling all tingly, lightning started coursing through my body and all around me; just like in the movies and BAM! There I was. No more webbed feet, no more silky smooth green skin. I had hair and a gay looking uniform on with a sash and a metal I didn’t earn(not that there is anything wrong with being gay and to tell the truth, gay guys can get away with wearing clothes straight guys wish they could wear).
Now I have to admit; when I was a frog the Princess was ugly and scary, but as a human…DANG...she was freakin’ hot! I wanted to do her right then and there. But, she told me there would be no doin’ until we got something called married. I agreed…what did I know…I was a frog.
The first year was great. We did it all over the castle and I still had my frog tongue. I could lick her and do her at the same time. But then things started to change. I started to notice my Princess was…well…a Princess. Do you love me… am I pretty…no you can’t go out with the boys…I saw you looking at her…are you going to wear that…lift up the seat…put the seat down…ouch, that hurts, you need to shave…don’t kiss me, I just put lip stick on…bitch…bitch...bitch…bitch. And who knew? This married thing means you can only have sex with one person who doesn’t want to have sex with you. Because it’s the same ol’ thing!
I had to get away. I went down to the old pond to see if any of the ol crew would recognize me and to listen to the night time noises. While I was there, I realized there was no going back for me. Froggets are nice, but once you’ve had human pussy you’re ruined forever.
I was on my way back to the castle when I came across this dark haired babe sleeping in glass case in the middle of the woods with a bunch of midgets gathered around her. I asked what was going on and this grumpy little dude told me she had eaten a poison apple. He said to be saved she had to be kissed by a Prince. I said “hey I’m a Prince” and this other dopey little dude said “kiss her, kiss her” so I did.
She woke up and everyone started cheering and dancing. It wasn’t long before one the midgets tapped a keg and we all started to party. Those midgets know how to party, but they can’t hold their liquor. Pretty soon it was just me and this black haired blue eyed babe and she was sizzlin’. She had a long neck, high cheek bones, thick full lips and the fairest skin I had ever seen. She took me by the hand led me into the cabin. She turned and faced me, I couldn’t resist, after all, I am just a frog and as you know, frogs are not monogamous and of course neither are humans, they only pretend to be. I kissed that beautiful neck and those full lips. We had the hottest sex in human/frog history.
Well it turns out that the Princess got tired of waiting for me to come home so she decided to go out looking for me. She came across a pile of midgets sleeping in the middle of the woods. She had her servant poke them to wake them up. It went something like this: Excuse me little people, but have you seen a Prince wondering about?” They woke up and that dopey little dude said “yeah he was just here I bet he went into the cabin. Well, I guess I should have told the dark haired babe and the midgets that even though I was technically a Prince, I was a married Prince. Seven angry midgets and two embittered women; things did not go well for me that morning.
It just goes to show you that you can change your clothes and you can change your shape, but you can’t change your nature. A frog is a frog and a is a dog. I started life as a frog, was turned into a human and I act like a dog.
I can lick my eyebrows. I work from a home office and I have a flexible schedule. Let’s party nekid.
Information
Sexual Orientation:
Straight
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Looking For: Women, Couples (man/woman), Groups or Couples (2 women) |
Birthdate: | June 1, 1960 |
Marital Status: | Prefer not to say |
Height: | 5 ft 10 in / 177-180 cm |
Body Type: | Athletic |
Smoking: | I'm a non-smoker |
Drinking: | I'm a light/social drinker |
Drugs: | I don't use drugs |
Education: | BA/BS (4 years college) |
Race: | Caucasian |
Male Endowment: | Average/Thick |
Circumcised: | Yes |
Speaks: | English |