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My Sexual User's Guide v. 1.0
Posted:Jun 28, 2018 11:27 am
Last Updated:Aug 9, 2018 3:52 pm
8033 Views

PHILOSOPHY To be honest, I still struggle with sexual trauma of my past, but as I get older, I'm embracing that I'm a sexual being deserving of pleasure and wanting to give pleasure. Sex is natural, nudity is natural and our bodies- what they can and can't do aren't anything to be ashamed of. Nothing wrong with what your desires are. Sex isn't a weapon to be used to coerce or harm anyone emotionally, physically, or psychologically. Sex should be a consensual act between adults of legal age. There should be no pressure to have sex if a person isn't ready. I believe that people shouldn't be punished for consenting, and then changing their minds later on; their decision should be respected. I believe that the government should fuck off when it comes to what two or more consenting adults do in their bedroom. I believe women should have more sexual freedom, and that their bodies aren't objects or ornaments. I believe that not all men oversexed, and that some do want to have sex when they feel ready. Just like I dont believe that all women are demure and have a low sex drive.

ORIENTATION:
I'm straight, boo. Because I dislike how men tend to treat women and I'm very vocal about that doesn't mean I'm going to switch teams. Now what type of man, the less touched by toxic masculine stereotypes the better.

PREFERENCES

*A no pressure daytime meet in public, i.e the mall, starbucks (or a better coffee spot) or over lunch.

*I don't have a car, so I prefer being picked up. If you don't have a car, I can make it by uber, but this would have to be at the top of the month.

*To host at my place, since I feel safer and have the home advantage. Right now I live with family with a religious mom and two small children (not mines), so if you can pop for a room, that's fine. If you can host at your place, even better.

*To have conversation, a massage or cuddle; I have anxiety disorder and before sex is when I'm the most nervous. Even if I'm into the guy, I need reassurance and it's nothing personal against the guy.

*Proper hygiene, a clean space and clean clothes. I always shower, brush my teeth, etc, and trim my pubic hair (unless I'm lazy) and clean my area before meeting someone, and I expect the same.

*To have antibacterial wipes or hand sanitizer on hand, and to not use spit as lube since I'm prone to yeast infections and BV. Not a neat freak, just careful when it comes to germs and sexual contact.

*If we haven't agreed ahead of time that it's a casual but "monogamous" thing with both of us having been tested recently- I HIGHLY prefer using condoms. I have an IUD, but the nature of the device won't allow me catching STI.

*To have a slightly warm-ish room, because I feel I perform better when I'm not cool or freezing.

*To have water or gatorade and snacks on hand. Because you work up and appetite and you sweat, duh. Also because no one can perform on an empty stomach, and I also get low blood sugar.

*To at least go more than one round and have more than one orgasm, if possible. Of course there's schedules to consider, but in general I don't normally care for just one go around. Even if it's just helping me while I get my ownself off.

*To please each other equally; I don't do selfish lovers or "pillow princess" shit. I give back as good as he gives me. If you can't, don't expect to see me again.

*To use toys and sexual aids (like lube for example) to enhance the experience, and not to be shamed or embarrassed or denied using toys and aids. (some guys have tried to get me off by sheer will, but I do need outside stimulation that's more than just vaginal penetration and mindless thrusting)

*Boundaries and consent, and to discuss anything we'd like to do before entering into a sexual relationship. Not forced to do anything I don't want to, and the guy to have the same expectation.

TURN ONS (physical)
Toned shoulders
Graceful necks
Forearms
Brunettes - not dirty blonde, or plain brown hair but rich and dark brown, dark auburn
"Salt & pepper" brunettes
Bald guys with groomed beards
Groomed beards and stubble
Abs
Full lips or well-shaped mouths
Freckles and moles
Pale, but not transclusent skin
Curly or wavy hair
Thick and groomed eyebrows
Husky/thick built men, i.e "big handsome men", "dad bods", pre-Marvel Chris Pratt, "teddy bears"
Swimmer's build, i.e tall, lean and athletic or short, athletic and lean
Dimples
Eyelashes
Bubble butts
Toned calves and thighs
Scars (depending on the guy and where the scars are located)
Adonis belts
**keep in mind, any of these in combination and not all are set in stone

TURN ONS (sexual)

Grunts, long and vulnerable moaning, groans
Uncut cock
Hangy ballsacks
Guys who pre cum
Grinding against my backside or crotch during foreplay
Ear play: heavy breathing, licking, lightly stroking, lobe nibbling
"Begging" to be inside me
Breast and nipple play: licking, nibbling, pinching, kneading, groping, sucking, etc
Nipple play and making out
Displays of strength (if at all possible): picked up and carried, yanked towards him, being pinned down during sex
Necking

TURN OFFS/ OFF LIMITS
Pushiness/impatience
Negging, begging, any form of manipulation
R*** fantasies
Scat, blood, spit
Incest fantasies
Bestiality
Children
Bad hygiene (unkempt hair and or facial hair, long nails, dirty clothes, BO, untrimmed or unshaved pubes, stank breath)
Lying about important things, i.e having a partner, having children
Disregard for sexual health, i.e not using condoms
Sexually aggressive from the jump
Being called "sweetie" or any term of endearment without knowing me
For White guys, asking me "If I ever been with a white guy" or basically implying that your interest in me is for bucket list purposes

FETISHES

Ass play: rimming, fingering, groping, biting
Bulges, hard-ons, dick prints and outlines
Creampies
Oil play - coconut oil/baby oil/lubed handjobs
Spanking - ass and breasts
Sensory stimulation: fabrics across the nipples and clit for example, aural stimulation: distinctive voices, being vocal
Nipples
Facesitting
Hickies
Parked car sex
Passive exhibitionism
Hands and finger worship (if he has nice hands)
Biting: wrists, upper back, butt, collar bone

Favorite positions
Doggy style, cowgirl, missionary, spooning position, belly down w/ guy on top
9 Comments
"Don't be a pussy!"
Posted:Dec 13, 2018 10:34 pm
Last Updated:Dec 17, 2018 8:17 am
321 Views

It's funny that I keep hearing this phrase from men directing it to other men as an insult. Trevor Noah made a point in his stand up special about pussy being the strongest thing on earth. It bleeds 3-7 days out the month (sometimes longer..thanks, hormones) , and can snap back after pushing an entire human out....it PUSHES OUT HUMANS. And don't get me started on sex - it can expand to take different size dicks and is self cleaning and lubricating.

Yet....a guy can sit on his balls wrong and he's on life support; his shaft gets bent and you're administering last rites. Don't get me started on what happens when he's been kicked in groin. Hard enough and a man can literally die. Ya, really.

I know "don't be a dick" is an insult, but dudes feel like when you call them pussies, they feel literally castrated. For the longest time feminity has been associated with weakness--and even though men claim to love women as much as they do, some balk at the idea of being weak, aka a woman.

So lately, I've been marathoning Ru Paul's Drag Race because of the all stars premiere tonight. And, to be honest it shows me how catty, vain and appearance obsessed men can be, but they give women shit.

YET, when a guy can work a runway in six inch dagger heels and outrageous costumes and make up, they really are pussies to me. 😁
13 Comments
I don't mind the abusive jerks anymore.
Posted:Dec 1, 2018 11:02 am
Last Updated:Dec 2, 2018 8:03 pm
474 Views

I had time to think last night, between the anger of disappointment slowly rising to the top like vomit...

I don't think I mind the abusive assholes that I encounter online anymore. I'm not saying I enjoy it or make these troglydites think what they say will make them successful with me.. I just think that it's not as bad. It's really no better than the undiagnosed sociopaths around who look for a thrill outside of their stifling everyday life. The cowards who can be kings, the impotent who can be powerful with a few choice words online. Men who prey on stupid, vulnerable women like me with just talking about stuff that I enjoy like Dungeons and Dragons, books, reading and Japanese culture. Pretending that they care about you and the dysfunctional bullshit that you have at home. Pretty words, pretty platitudes and pretty poison.

Yeah, I don't think that I'm going to put these dipshits on blast anymore like I used to. They don't know any better other than acting on instinct to breed. They like me are probably lacking social skills and want something to slake their biological needs or something more. They're just acting on what most of us try to deny....raw, honest emotions. Not charm or lies.

I rather be told that they just want a sloppy blowjob when they're in town for the day. Or asked how much I want for one night with me than to be told that I'm gorgeous, I'm beautiful, my intelligence is sexy and powerful and so on and so forth. At least I know where I stand, what I mean to them, and what my role is.
4 Comments
#livingyourbestlife?
Posted:Nov 26, 2018 11:10 pm
Last Updated:Dec 1, 2018 11:21 pm
536 Views

I have a bone to pick with the sentiment that one has to self improve to find love. I read an article few months ago about how we as a country are obsessed with "wellness", "pureness" and “cutting toxic people” and or “toxic chemicals “ out of our lives to the point of putting lofty demands on not only ourselves, but others as well.

If I went into an example of this phenomenon and how it manifests itself in First World privilege, scientific illiteracy and being tone deaf to the struggles of developing nations, it'd take all day. Anyway, some people wait on some benevolent spiritual being or mindset to bless them and bring someone into their life, but only if you are pure of heart, mind and body basically. That's all fine and well, until you come to find that you never get the outcome you wanted despite "living your best life". If that were the case successful women who are open to dating wouldn't have as much dating troubles as your average woman out there.

I'm still a slave to this mentality that no one will want me unless I lose weight, eat better, exercise, finish my education, get a job and a "healthy" mindset that eschews accepting one's flaws and limitations as is. Outside of self improvement for my own sake, participating in extreme dietary changes for example and forcing myself to adopt a positive attitude because I “bring others down “ isn't the me I'd want a guy to fall for. In fact, it's detrimental.

Zero negative feelings about anything basically boiled down to an insipid fucking hashtag and lying about my life to placate others isn't the real me. Self realization, self awareness and recognition of your own limitations, flaws and messiness, not turning your back on friends who are having a hard time getting their shit together and rejecting potential relationships because they are genuinely bad people, instead of them being good but imperfect isn't a bad thing. Why have we turned our back on this? Are we actually living our best life if we're constantly lying to ourselves?
6 Comments
Is a turn off a turn off?
Posted:Nov 19, 2018 4:49 am
Last Updated:Nov 20, 2018 1:58 am
787 Views

Just wondering by the nature of this site, and the reason why some, just SOME men cheat on their partners...is a woman that's mostly "vanilla" in her sexual interests a turn off to some men? For example, myself. I'm not interested in sleeping with couples. At least those with a man and a woman (male/male has been an interest of mines for awhile now) because of the biggest reason being that I don't find women sexually attractive enough to sleep with one.

Since I don't think there's a male alive that doesn't find (for his own gaze) girl on girl action hot, I'm probably considered less potential than a woman who is bisexual and willing.

Is that true, or just something I'm suspicious about?
12 Comments
How would you rate yourself?
Posted:Nov 18, 2018 9:22 am
Last Updated:Nov 18, 2018 8:42 pm
819 Views

When it comes to sex overall? A lot of people boast as it's de rigure on a place like this to advertise their prowess like a product; but have you really stepped back to take an honest assessment? This is another type of blog that may go off the rails, because I'll be the only one to actually open up and criticize myself. Like I am now.

For assessing, I break it down into things like:

-Communication, as in how well do you talk about your needs and wants in bed? Do you talk openly and honestly about your sexual history and options for safe sex?

-Expressiveness, as in being vocal and tactile and receptive to both. Are you energetic and enthusiastic, or lethargic and passive?

-Hygiene and health, which is self explanatory. Are you head to toe with cleanliness? Do you smell nice? Do you get tested and encourage your partners to?

-Seductive skills? This is dependent on a lot of factors, but mostly is it healthy. As in can you get a woman or man into bed without relying on coercion and mind games?

-Skill, which is also self explanatory. How well do you think you fuck? Nothing like feedback from others, but what do you think of yourself, I.e do you got the moves and how many positions can you do? Are you good at foreplay?

-Expansiveness and experience? In 2018, I'm surprised how dense most people are about sex, anatomy, different lifestyles, orientations and gender, etc. It's not bad if you're willing to educate yourself on such things, but it feels like no one wants to. Experience is basically asking, can you get a zero on the purity test? If not, are you willing to experiment and experience more?

- The interpersonal, as in are you caring and considerate to your partner? Do you listen to them? Basically good, giving and game. Or are you a selfish git? (some people will say that they aren't selfish in bed because they don't want to ruin their chances)

I'm curious to hear from you
4 Comments

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