My subconscious is being an asshole.  

amy_G_dala 36F   
1057 posts
8/10/2018 10:33 pm
My subconscious is being an asshole.

Having dreams used to be pretty awesome, like me riding on a wedge of cheddar cheese down a river, or me making out with Henry Cavil dressed as Superman. Not to sound melodramatic... 😏

But it seems like my dreams lately seem to like to torment me. Lately I've been having a lot of dreams about my estranged, now former lover "Josh" who was in an open marriage. The one whom if you remember or care was the man child who flipped his shit when he found out that his wife was knocked up. They both knew that they couldn't afford to raise a kid, but she kept it anyway, driving "Josh" into a spiral of deep depression, suppressed anger and defeat. I saw him last towards the end of April and we spoke beginning of May. Who was I to know that he'd ghost me hard- no replies to anything at all? He wasn't one to answer texts immediately, maybe a day or two later, but this time around, not at all. I could see him active on FB, and that hurt. So few more months of sporadic texting, and I gave up for good about two weeks ago.

He's gone from FB and my phone, and I thought he was gone from my mind and heart. My dreams say otherwise. I know dreams are sometimes our subconscious trying to tell us something. My guess is that I should just be happy he's not in my life anymore? Dude was drama on two legs. I should rejoice.

I guess it's because of lack of closure and answers to questions concerning the child, his and his wife's state of mind, simply the child's name. That was one of my dreams, and a creepy one too...

He said that the kid's name was Christian or Tristan. If anyone knows, I started watching the show Supernatural lately. Day before yesterday, I decided to look up one of the leading actors, and wouldn't you know? The guy's middle name was Tristan. Now, I didn't know this ahead of it's an eerie coincidence that the name pops up in my dream, and I see it in real life.

Anyway, this isn't the first time I've dreamt about people in that way. The way the dreams stopped was I confronted it head on in real life. Thing is, "Josh" is AWOL for good, and I have confrontation issues.

Maybe they'll go away on their own in time, but right now it fucking grates on my nerves. I just want him out of my life if that's what he's trying to do.

amy_G_dala 36F   
936 posts
8/10/2018 10:35 pm

I wish the movie Inception was a real thing. Because: "dream assassin" 😁

jolielaide 47F  
386 posts
8/10/2018 10:54 pm

the adjustment bureau was also a damn good move; love emily blunt. does fate or destiny determine your future? well, in the movie the agents of fate do everything to alter/change things. never saw inception but 'dream assassin' sounds good too. (sigh) wow, white boy josh sounds like a ghost of all ghosts. and it seemed like you two had an interesting dynamic going until the 'kid' came into the picture; not that i'm blaming a child who has no choice in the matter. out of courtesy josh should at least give you a heads-up.

if someone is literally on my mind, i will dream about them whether i want or not. there have been people on here that i convo with and they've popped into my dreams too. idk what i means though. you've met josh. i haven't met/laid physical eyes on these people. asshole or not, my subconscious is telling me something but wtf is it?? my best guess is that it's stress. find something to distract and smooth the stress out, lady. that's what i do. obviously i'm not suggesting, merely sayin'

amy_G_dala replies on 8/12/2018 11:59 pm:
I have clinical OCD, so I can busy myself all I like, but my thoughts will chew things down to the nub.

Tucsonfun4us2 53M
179 posts
8/10/2018 11:22 pm

It sounds like he's on your mind, maybe just because of a lack of a certain closure to the whole situation. Your subconscious is going through the "what if's?" It could be as simple as you sending him a text saying "That's it!" or it could be more involved. Think about it, what do you need to happen for this to feel like it's over to you? If you need the closure and a clean break make it happen. We are all the masters of our own future, fate is only a glimpse of what is to come, if we change nothing. IF we see it we can change and shape the direction, is it going to be perfect? Oh hell no! Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get on with what's next.

Henry Ford had a saying that more people need to realize, he said, "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't. you're right." If you use that thought and realize it's all up to you, there isn't a stopping point, jut resting spots along the way.

amy_G_dala replies on 8/12/2018 11:56 pm:
I just want a flat out clean apology, and we can close this chapter. If I knew how to purge obsessive thoughts, I would have already. But unfortunately, I'm clinical OCD.

Readmoreofeveryt 45F

8/11/2018 3:08 am

The dream thing sucks. For years after I was grown I had dreams I would fight with my step mom and win as she use to hit and yell when I was a kid. Then it was dreams that I'd see my ex and we'd fuck and get along fine for home to be with the person he cheated on me with. At one time they were about my son and I being in a forest and I could see son young and small and searching for me but he couldn't hear me telling him I was there I could see him and he's ok. I prefer the dreams where I find quarters everywhere and collect them. There was a time I'd dream I could jump and stay I. The air on that jump as long as I wanted. I use to dream that I was in public naked but no one else was and there was no way for me to cover up. Mist of my dreams fuck with me big time. I've had dreams a lobed one died and it felt do real I had to call and text to hem to make sure they were ok. I still dream I'm raising small kids and I'm going sometimes and I'm 45 and now the kids are between ages of 19 n 25 so that is weird.

amy_G_dala replies on 8/12/2018 11:51 pm:
Sounds like part stress dreams, part wishes for prosperity,love and happiness. Also people dying in your dreams don't necessarily mean you will lose them in real life.

resant78 40M/74F
2201 posts
8/11/2018 8:35 am

Dreams can be so awesome, and so confusing.

I'm not a dream expert, but I do enjoy reading up on it , I have a an amateur's fascination with it, and I like hearing about other people's dreams.

From what I understand, everyone in your dreams represent different aspects of you.
One question you can ask is, "what does this person represent in my life, or what do I feel when I think about this person?"

Definitely some closure issues when you encounter someone you'd rather not in a dream. I've had plenty of those!

I've also had a dream where I was inside Carnegie Hall, dressed as a teletubbie, fighting evil cyborgs. (this is 100% true!)

amy_G_dala replies on 8/12/2018 11:48 pm:
I like your dreams better than mines lately. At this point, I don't know what the boy represents to me anymore. I just know that I want this thing to resign itself from my subconscious.

dayzeeme 50F
6630 posts
8/11/2018 11:36 am

most likely that dream WAS you getting closure, and NOW you can move on?????

amy_G_dala replies on 8/12/2018 11:38 pm:
Maybe, but why if it was a sign of closure, why did I have three more dreams about him? It's like some sort of tug of war.

mc_justmc 58M  
4336 posts
8/12/2018 6:00 pm

I had one of those. It wasn't the sex for me, it was the friend. She was my best friend for like 2 yrs, every weekend me and her, and her husband would go out. Then it just stopped. I deleted her from my friends list here and FB, but not her phone number. If she were to call I would want to be prepared, not blindly answering the phone.
I've had some weird dreams too, lately. When you were making out with Henry Cavil, why were you dressed as Superman?

amy_G_dala replies on 8/12/2018 11:34 pm:
I confess that I got rid of his number, but the last text to him is still on my phone...just in case. But I doubt he will ever contact me again. And I wasn't dressed up as Superman, but you'd like that..

Become a member to create a blog