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| Blogs > mc_justmc > Into The Cornfield |
The 5th Annual Barbie Awards
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The 5th Annual Barbie Awards It's time once again to take a peek at the best new Barbies coming soon to a store near you! First up is Legal Immigrant Barbie  She's blonde. She's beautiful. She's European. She's In! No red tape, no questions asked, just raise her right hand and take an oath and she's on her way to becoming a productive American citizen. If she can't find a fat, rich American real estate billionaire to marry she'll be the hottest new star in the porn industry! Legal Immigrant Barbie comes complete with passport, citizenship papers, and life-like legs ready to spread for any occasion. *chain-migration relatives NOT included. DWI Barbie  This hot mess of polyvinyl chloride was just picked up in a bar room brawl! And she's got the scars to prove it! With her vomit matted hair, Alice Cooper mascara, and bloody lip she's just gettin' started. This Barbie comes complete with black roots, attitude, and several cans o'whoop ass, and she's ready to open every Gott Damm one of 'em! *sobriety and bail NOT included. Colonoscopy Barbie  Well, Barbie's over 50 yrs old, so it's time to get "snaked". Regularly. You'll have hours of fun prepping, anesthetizing, and reaming this backdoor Barbie, and making crude jokes at her expense while she dreams she's riding a carousel pole. This Barbie comes complete with anal snake, butthole, and polyps. *PVC lube NOT included. Speed Barbie  This twitchy, tweaking, bag of bones will do anything for a bump. Honestly. Anything. Get ready to party all night long because this bitch NEVER goes to sleep. With this Barbie you'll have days on end of fun learning your grams, ounces, and pounds, how to cut them, and how to package them. This Barbie is a nightmare that never ends and comes complete with a dime bag, glass pipe, carton of cigarettes, and open facial sores. *condoms NOT included. Cornpone Country Barbie  Barbie's gone off to the hills and she ain't never coming back! Moonshining, cousin loving, banjo picking, this Barbie is most comfortable barefoot and squeeling like a pig in her cut-offs, and shirt, sewn from a Stuckey's diningroom table cloth. With calloused knees and elbows this Barbie put the Ho in Hoedown and there ain't a haystack in 5 counties that hasn't seen her "MADE IN CHINA" stamp. This country bumpkin comes complete with way too much eye shadow, non-existent dental work, and a butthole that doubles as a bottle opener. *any intelligence not included. Well that's it for this years Barbithon. If there's any I missed, feel free to add them in the comments section. Where the hell is BiggLala, she tore this post up last time we did it. |
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8/11/2018 8:34 pm |
stroke happym;, stroke happym;, stroke happym;
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Awesome. Absolutely awesome!!  Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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8/11/2018 8:51 pm |
I am not into barbie I love curvy bubble butt and nice breasts with big areolas and I love huge clits
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I barfed when I saw Speed Whore Barbie and my keyboard will never be the same.  amp; You ain't the only one who misses her, I've had a few inquiries. I've had a bit of chat with Lala she is dealing with some things. I'm not at liberty to say more or I would have posted up. When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
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Is the speed whore of Ethiopian descent? She looks like she could be the Nilsbury noboy's daughter.(National Lampoon ad) Some great choices and they look so real. Thanks for the great gift ideas for the niece's daughters. Using more than all the road!
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8/11/2018 9:09 pm |
Awesome. Absolutely awesome!! 
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8/11/2018 9:10 pm |
I am not into barbie I love curvy bubble butt and nice breasts with big areolas and I love huge clits
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8/11/2018 9:13 pm |
I barfed when I saw Speed Whore Barbie and my keyboard will never be the same. amp; You ain't the only one who misses her, I've had a few inquiries. I've had a bit of chat with Lala she is dealing with some things. I'm not at liberty to say more or I would have posted up.
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8/11/2018 9:15 pm |
Is the speed whore of Ethiopian descent? She looks like she could be the Nilsbury noboy's daughter.(National Lampoon ad) Some great choices and they look so real. Thanks for the great gift ideas for the niece's daughters.
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There are lots of us missing Lala. I've made some more soap for her, but it looks like at least 4 of your Barbies need it more than she does! Holy crap...some of them are scary! Pagan  Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!
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All of them seem worthy. Thanks for the laugh... ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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8/11/2018 9:52 pm |
There are lots of us missing Lala. I've made some more soap for her, but it looks like at least 4 of your Barbies need it more than she does! Holy crap...some of them are scary!
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8/11/2018 9:54 pm |
All of them seem worthy. Thanks for the laugh...
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lmao. Those are funny! Thank you for the giggles! "Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax." – Mark Black
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holy mother of god I am glad I was never into Barbies!!! Yikes!! But, colonoscopy Barbie looks pretty accurate. Maybe include a shot of versed to help her forget the procedure?
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VERSED yep just what they all need to help forget what they are here for. OMG this is so funny I have to share elsewhere- ya' know pimp it my style Thanks for the Sunday humor (Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group
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8/12/2018 4:30 pm |
lmao. Those are funny! Thank you for the giggles!
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8/12/2018 4:32 pm |
holy mother of god I am glad I was never into Barbies!!! Yikes!! But, colonoscopy Barbie looks pretty accurate. Maybe include a shot of versed to help her forget the procedure?
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8/12/2018 4:33 pm |
VERSED yep just what they all need to help forget what they are here for. OMG this is so funny I have to share elsewhere- ya' know pimp it my style Thanks for the Sunday humor
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8/13/2018 6:28 am |
I think I've seen every one of them at one time or another.
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You made me laugh today ty mc. Hugs V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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8/19/2018 11:36 am |
You made me laugh today ty mc. Hugs V
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8/22/2018 7:17 am |
Hey Mcmanny! how's it going! Here's a song to go with colonoscopy Barbie: The Colorectal Surgeon Song You screwggle it, it's on U-tubey I've been told I'm very good... but when I'm bad I'm better.
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8/22/2018 10:23 am |
Are you who I think you are? I'll definitely check that out Joiseyg- I mean funloveragain. 
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8/22/2018 10:32 am |
Are you who I think you are? I'll definitely check that out Joiseyg- I mean funloveragain. I've been told I'm very good... but when I'm bad I'm better.
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8/22/2018 9:31 pm |
Well just who the heck calls you mcmanny? huh? well huh?
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8/25/2018 10:03 am |
GI Joe could have his own twisted line, hmmmmmm.
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Ah but wait!!  I recognise yon colonoscopy!!!  We get shit kits over here every two years from the age of 50 to 75, I assume they reckon that after 75 there's nae hope for ye anyway.......But aye, the shit kits are a bi-annual (anal?) highlight in the land of the jock where tartan jobbies float taller and prouder than anywhere else!! Cheese-oh mind, I'd nae clue that Barbie could be so diverse, ken must be rred raw pumping them aw the time!!
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8/28/2018 4:49 am |
Ah but wait!! I recognise yon colonoscopy!!! We get shit kits over here every two years from the age of 50 to 75, I assume they reckon that after 75 there's nae hope for ye anyway.......But aye, the shit kits are a bi-annual (anal?) highlight in the land of the jock where tartan jobbies float taller and prouder than anywhere else!! Cheese-oh mind, I'd nae clue that Barbie could be so diverse, ken must be rred raw pumping them aw the time!!
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8/28/2018 4:50 am |
Your Welcome!
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